Wednesday, February 27, 2013

More like a diary entry

It is difficult not to go into a deep introspect, these days, with so many confessions coming up on FB which correlate with you so well. You cannot help but fall into a limbo of thoughtlessness, or over-thinking rather.

Being in pre-final year, with placements less than a year away, I cannot help but think where is it that I really want to be, few years down the lane? It is easy to get carried away by looking around, what the "focused" people are progressing on to, and yet there is the irrepressible urge to the shake the very roots of conventional-ism.

They say you are loaded with energy and the belief that you are infallible (a very important motivator I feel), and that now is the time you ought to venture into prospects that you may not want to venture on later in life. But what if I take a decision, which takes me very far away from what I am currently, reasonably good at, and then drops me at a point of no return? Screwed, won't I be?

Too many ifs and buts indicate a sign of insecurity, but when you see a thousand possibilities and then look at the failures, or dead ends where your past decisions have led you to, a little bit of that feeling of infallibility gets chipped away. And little by little, you feel scared of taking decisions anymore. They say in this case skip everything else, take something you really like and rub it out to the very end, and it is very easy to think that yeah, that's all, why am I even stuck here? But you start again, and find yourself lacking that zeal which initially pulled you into it. And there you go, the feeling of limbo all over again.

Heck, all this keeps building up and drains out, just like a tide in the sea. And soon, while the tide is low, or high as the case may be, without realizing I'll be into something new, something..

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